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 Things not to say on the phone

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TokoToTheEnd

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PostSubject: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:47 pm

There are things we would love to say to some people (*coughtelemarketerscough*) when on the phone, but really aren't proper. So why not list them here?! XD

1. "So what are you doing tonight, baby?"
2. "Es el gato en tus pantalones?" (especially if they speak spanish)
3. "So what are you wearing?"
4. "So can I have five pizzas to go?" (XD)

Now continue the list!
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hey_mai_Zukos_mine

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:50 pm

5. "I'd say you have the wrong number, but it feels so right."
6. "Stay still, and don't leave the room you're in." (You'd probably get your number tracked if you said this one though. xD)
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Vaderwasframed

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:51 pm

7. "So YOU'RE the murderer!"
8. "Are you british or gay, i can't tell"
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Alec
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:53 pm

9. So hows David? What do you mean who's David, how could you forget our own son?
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Sarcastic Master
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:57 pm

10. "Just a second, sir... ok, so how did you know the murder victim?" "Mr. -soandso- was found dead a few hours ago, and police are invesitgating the crime. I repeat, how did you know the victim?"
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TokoToTheEnd

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:57 pm

11. "So I hear you have herpes?"
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:48 pm

12. What color panties are you wearing?
13. I'm sorry. Your call can not be completed as dialed. Please GO GET A LIFE YOU ****** ******** AND CALL AGAIN YOU ***!!! (Or something like that.)
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Sarcastic Master
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:01 pm

14. "No, I don't need whatever you're selling, but it sounds to me like you could use some 'not entirely legal' substances."
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hey_mai_Zukos_mine

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:11 am

15. Can I call you back later on your personal number?
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:13 am

16. Well, I'm not really interested in what you're selling, but maybe if you stop by my house and try a different sales technique, I may be interested.
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Video Gamer

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:15 am

17: You. Me. Dinner. Never.
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:16 am

19. Ah. What's that? I can't hear you. *makes a whole bunch of weird staticy noises* You're breaking up. *More noises* I'm going through a tunnel. *More noises* (*Hang phone up*)


Last edited by Velox on Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:17 am; edited 1 time in total
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hey_mai_Zukos_mine

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:16 am

17. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a rather alluring voice?"
18. "Heh, so it appears you'll be the next victim. -dead line-"
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:18 am

20. Those are some nice shoes that you're wearing.
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hey_mai_Zukos_mine

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:43 am

20. "I know what you did last summer..." [Only because you will be shot repeatedly for quoting that terrible movie, as people have been doing so for far too long.]


Last edited by hey_mai_Zukos_mine on Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:49 am

{Actually, I pwned You and posted 18 first. However, I was being nice so I edited my post before You to 19 and then posted 20. Although looking closer, You posted an extra 17.}

23. You can ring my tone all day, baby!
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:24 am

24: "Die monster. You don't belong in this world!' 'It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute.' Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!' 'perhaps the same could be said of all religions...' 'Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you!' ' What is a man? a miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk...have at you!"


(wow i'm a nerd)
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:28 am

25. By answering this call you have cursed yourself for all of eternity.
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:26 am

26. "Hmmmm... Though the subscription you're trying to sell me sounds like a good deal, I'm more interested if you have any Mail-Order Wives on stock. I'll need three. No, let's go with four."

27. "Could you hang on a moment? I'll be back in just a second..." *Don't hang up, just put the phone down and go finish your dinner*

28. "This product of yours is interesting, but have you tried our Super-Sucker 3000? It's guaranteed to suck up your muck faster than any other vacuume-cleaner! Its patented and highly advanced Roto-Motor technology gives it a clenliness procentage of 99%! You don't want to miss out!"

29. "Thank. You. For. Calling. You. Are. Number. 8. In. line." *sing for a moment* "Your. Call. Is. Important. To. Us. So. Please. Be. Patient." *sing some more* "You. Are. Number. 6. In. Line." *sing more*

30. "CALL ME ISHMAEL!"
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:59 am

31-*Whispering*” You got 7 days left…” (Anyone gets it!? XD)
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:00 pm

32. Your world is doomed. They are coming...You will die tonight.
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:23 pm

33. Hello, this is god, I cannot answer your call right now, after the tone, say your prayer, do your dance, chant your mantra, or whatever it is you do, If you're a telemarketer, I'm sorry, your going to hell, there's nothing I can do.

((anybody seen that youtube video?))
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:58 pm

{No, but that's funny! D}

34. *Answer phone* Thank you for calling. Your soul is mine now. *Hang up*
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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:02 pm

35. "Sorry I'm a little busy. Say How about you give me your number and I'll call you later on your time?" *I think this is Seinfeld

36. "Are you as ugly as you sound?"

37. "Let me just stop you there for a second, I'd like to ask you a question... What is love! Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me no more! Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo."

38. "When you make me throw this phone at 88 miles an hour you're going to see some serious shit!"

39. *Obi Wan hand raise* "This isn't the number you're looking for."

40. "No no no sir, how much would you like this special visa package?"

41. "You know what's ironic I mean, I'm the provider for what you're trying to sell me! That's like rain on your wedding day! A black fly in your chardonnay! It's a free ride when you've already payed! It's the good advice that you just didn't take! And who would have thought!..." (Continue singing the song Ironic until he or she hangs up.)
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Velox

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PostSubject: Re: Things not to say on the phone   Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:59 pm

42. I AM A GOD!!! YOU WILL STOP TRYING TO SELL ME YOUR USELESS WHATEVER, AND BOW DOWN TO ME!!!
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