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 Russian Roulette M One-shot

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TokoToTheEnd

TokoToTheEnd


Posts : 4391
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 32
Location : Freezing to death in CT

Russian Roulette M One-shot Empty
PostSubject: Russian Roulette M One-shot   Russian Roulette M One-shot I_icon_minitimeThu Dec 10, 2009 6:57 pm

I was listening to the song Russian Roulette by Rihanna, when this one-shot came into my head. So I decided to write it and hey! I actually did write and finish it. XD It contains some swears and of course violence. Now read!
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It was just a game.

A stupid little game. Nothing was suppose to happen. If I knew what was going to occur because of it I would have never played at all. But I did.

And I remember everything that happened as well. The memory of our mistake is burned into my mind. I’ll think about it until I die.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Me, my best friend AJ, a friend of our’s Erin, her cousin Devon and this new kid that had been hanging around him Travis. We were all hanging out in Devon’s garage. His parents were out and so we had the place to ourselves without being bothered.

Devon’s parents park outside the garage even during the winter, so he was easily able to convince his parents into letting him use the space as a hang out area. Well half of it was. In the back and by the door that lead to the kitchen it was used for storage. The other space contained a raggy blue couch, an old tv and a couple bean bags with a table in front of the couch.

I was sitting on the end of it facing AJ who was sitting on the arm of the couch. We were playing a hand game. Sitting in the middle of the couch was Erin who was watching some reality show about surviving in the middle of the desert. Travis sat on a bean bag watching it as well. It was a pretty dull afternoon, but none of us knew what else to do.

“I win,” I declared after AJ missed a move. He shook his head. I slapped him lightly. “I do now.”

AJ just glared at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. Then we both started to laugh. After being friends for so long this kind of things were common. Others thought we were weird, but we didn’t mind.

Just then Devon burst into the room looking fairly pleased with himself. His mouth was long and so when he grinned sometimes it looked creepy. I referred to him as the Cheshire Cat, not that I actually ever called him that to his face.

Erin looked over at him with a bored, but vaguely curious look. Travis was still engrossed in the television program.

“Something happen that we should know about,” Erin asked her cousin after he made no move to tell us why he was smiling. “Because you’re starting to creep me out by just standing there smiling.”

In answer he moved one of his arms that was behind his back before, revealing a somewhat small shiny, silver object in it. Gasps were heard all around the room.

“Devon why are you holding a gun,” I asked incredulously. Now he was creeping me out as well. Once look at AJ told me he was shocked too. Only Travis wasn’t, but that was because his focus was still on the program. But once he moved his eyes to Devon, he looked like he was about to be sick.

“I thought we could use it to play a game,” he replied simply, like having a gun was no big deal. “Besides it’s empty-mostly.”

“Mostly? Mostly?! What the hell do you mean by that,” Erin cried standing quickly. Her long blonde hair swayed from the movement.

Devon frowned and shook his head. He looked like he was upset that he didn’t seem interested in playing whatever twisted game he was thinking of. It made me think that maybe Devon was more insane than I thought.

“Listen,” he said, glancing around to make sure we were. “There is only one round in here. And I’m pretty sure that the first one is a blank.”

“Pretty sure?”

“Ok, ok, I know this looks bad.” Devon was frowning even more now. I looked at AJ who was staring at the ground. I guess the gun was making him nervous. It was making me nervous as well. “But come on. We’re all bored. I thought I’d make it more exciting.”

“By shooting us,” Erin asked. She looked ready to slap Devon and I knew that she would. I had seen her do it before.

“No,” Devon replied rudely, glaring at his cousin. His dark green eyes appeared to flash as he smiled again. “I know of a game we can play that involves using a gun.”

“Russian roulette?”

I jumped at the sound of Travis’s voice. I had almost forgotten him and felt a little guilty about it. Though my mind was more concerned with the gun right now. Travis had all dark features. Olive color skin, dark brown eyes that looked almost black, and shaggy black hair that hung in his face. He kind of gave me a bad feeling when I first meet him, but then I learned that he was ok. But now the feeling returned.

“You know the game,” Devon asked, excited. Erin shot Travis a look, and sighed.

“Yeah I do. But why would you want to play? It’s dangerous.”

“So?”

Now I was ready to slap Devon. Did he really not care about our lives?
“Dude not to put you down, but I don’t think a shooting game is a good idea,” AJ said, his voice kind of shaky. I nodded in agreement.

Devon shook his head. “I know it’s dangerous. I’m not stupid. But I’m not a chicken either. This is like a six chamber gun I think and the bullet is in the last one. So none of us would actually get shot.”

Travis nodded and I assumed that he agreed with Devon. AJ looked unsure and Erin was pissed. I was still nervous. My stomach churned just looking at the thing. Devon must of saw that we were still not convinced and tried one more time.

“I’ll go first. Listen I’m not forcing you guys to play, but I’d think it would be a fun idea. Come on please!”

Erin sighed and her composure collapse. She was giving in to her cousin. AJ just looked at the gun and nodded. I looked at the floor and muttered, “Sure I guess.”

Devon beamed and instructed us to get into a circle. He stood near the kitchen door, with Erin to his right. Travis was next to her, then me and then AJ. Being in a circle made me feel safe, but also more nervous. It meant I couldn’t chicken out now. I didn’t want to look bad.

“Ok guys this is how you play,” Devon started. “Each of us will raise the gun to the side of our head. On the count of three we pull the trigger. The blank will discharge and you pass the gun on.” He raised the gun to his head showing us. “Everyone got it?”

We all nodded. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, but I was already too freaked out to relax. Just the thought of shooting myself made my skin crawl. I also noted that the gun had only five chambers, but any other thought was gone from me.

“Ok let’s do this.” Devon raised the gun back to his head, glancing at all of us. None of us would actually met his glaze and scoffing, he pulled the trigger.

BAM!

I heard myself and Erin letting out a cry of shock and AJ flinched. Devon was wide eyed and looked frightened.

“God that is loud,” he said, pulling the gun down. I saw no hole in his head where a bullet might be. His blonde hair would not be able to hide any wounds. He was alive. He didn’t kill himself.

Looking pleased with himself again, Devon passed on the gun to Erin. She took it gingerly like it was something gross. I could see the fear in her eyes as she stared at it. She just stood there for a minute, her eyebrows furrowing like she was trying to will the gun gone. Then she looked up, taking several deep breaths and raised the gun to her head.

I held my breath as I waited for her to pull the trigger. AJ took my hand, squeezing it. I looked at him and he gave me a reassuring look.

Erin was frozen again, then she pulled it a little away from her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“Afraid,” Travis supplied. Erin nodded. “It’s ok. Like Devon said no one is forcing you to do it.”

But that was a lie. When we agreed to play the stupid game, we all knew we had to go through with it. It was a dumb pride thing.

So Erin brought the barrel back to her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She pulled the trigger and I looked away.

BAM!

A moment later I looked slowly back at her. Erin looked shaken, but she was fine. In fact a small smile was on her lips.

Erin passed on the gun to Travis. He held the gun like it was something fragile, which was weird to me. I didn’t know much about him, but the bad feeling I had was back. Travis muttered something under his breath - a pray maybe? - then did the same as Devon and Erin.

BAM!

He let out a small cry and almost dropped the gun. I didn’t understand why everyone was so freaked out by the sound of a blank. It wasn’t so bad.

But then I realized it was my turn. My palms started to sweat as he passed it onto me. I, like Erin, was staring at the gun. I thought it would feel kind of cold or warm, but the metal felt like it was burning my skin. I wanted to throw it down at my feet and run out of the garage or give it back to Travis. But I did neither. Moving slowly I began to raise the gun to my head. It was so bizarre. Never in my life did I think I would be holding a gun to my own head. I almost wanted to laugh, but my throat was too dry. I swallowed a lump in my throat, trying to be brave. I hesitantly put the barrel against the side of my head, noting that it was cold there.

I looked at AJ who squeezed my hand again before letting it go. Then I took a big deep breath as I silently thought of all the good memories I had and what I still had left to do before I pulled the trigger myself.

BAM!

Hearing the noise I now realized why it made everyone jump. I actually did jump, yanking the gun away from my head. It might have been a blank, but dang was it loud!

But now that it was over I could feel my heart pounding rapidly in my chest and that I was panting. I gave myself a few seconds to calm down and then passed the gun onto AJ.

I looked at my palm expecting it to have a burn mark or something, but the skin was just a little red from holding the gun so tight. I shook my hand, getting that pins and needle feeling as I looked at my friend.

AJ looked unsure again, but he was slowly moving the gun to his left side of his head. It was then that two things starting to dawn on me. First off that the gun only had five chambers which meant that the bullet had to be in the last one and secondly that in Russian roulette you were suppose to spin the cylinder before shooting yourself. Wide eyed I began to say this.

“Guys I think we’re playing it wro-”

BANG!

But I was too late. The noise that came didn’t sound like the others and I knew deep down he was dead. But at the time I didn’t want to believe it. AJ just stood there, blinking. He acted kind of like Erin did, all frozen but you could see something was wrong. Then the gun fell from hand, clanking on the ground. Since I was closest I could see the wound the best. A little, red round hole in the side of his head.

For a second everything seemed to just pause. No one moved or did anything. We all just stared in horror at AJ. Then the wound began to bleed and AJ fell to the ground.

I began to sob and turned away, puking on the ground. Some of it hit Travis, but he didn’t seen to notice or care. Instead he was backing away shaking his head. Erin was crying as well, her hand covering her mouth. She turned to Devon and began to scream at him.

“You said no one would get hurt! You said no one would die!”

But Devon didn’t appear to hear her. He was in shocked. He looked the most horrified, which made sense since it was his idea to play in the first place.

I wiped my mouth and looked back at my friend. I felt myself almost get sick again, but I held it down. I had to see if he was really…gone.

I kneeled down next to his shoulder, a small pool of blood there, soaking some of my jeans. I placed my fingers on his neck checking for a pulse, begging him to have one. But no such luck. His pulse wasn’t there. I pulled away, sobbing again. After that I couldn’t really recall much. Someone must of called 911 because the ambulance and the police showed up. I wasn’t sure what had happened to the others, but I do recall one policeman coming over to ask me some questions and to get me to release the body.

And I remember only telling him, “It was a game. Just a game. Just a stupid game. No one was suppose to get hurt.”


Last edited by TokoToTheEnd on Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:53 am; edited 1 time in total
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Casey Jewels

Casey Jewels


Posts : 1589
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 33
Location : Behind you...

Russian Roulette M One-shot Empty
PostSubject: Re: Russian Roulette M One-shot   Russian Roulette M One-shot I_icon_minitimeMon Dec 14, 2009 10:03 pm

I should be working on my Book of Mormon final, but... I've been curious about this piece since you told me about it.

The first few sentences and the very last few sentences are the best. They really help to set up the mood and then to sum the horrifying moment up. I'm bad at transitioning through abstract things like your beginning to the actual story, but I think that you did a great job pulling it off.

I did notice a few grammar errors, mostly places that there should have been commas, but none of the errors were bad enough to detract from the story.

The one thing that I did notice that bugged me, however, was that you switched from TJ to AJ.

Other than that, I really like this piece. You could see the real shot coming, but yet the story didn't feel boring.
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TokoToTheEnd

TokoToTheEnd


Posts : 4391
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 32
Location : Freezing to death in CT

Russian Roulette M One-shot Empty
PostSubject: Re: Russian Roulette M One-shot   Russian Roulette M One-shot I_icon_minitimeTue Dec 15, 2009 9:48 am

I did? Oops I wanted him to be AJ not TJ. I'll go edit that.

And thanks Casey! I always seem to have errors, especially with commas it seems. Need to work on that.

Also thanks about the transitioning comment. I didn't know that I was good at that kind of thing.
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Russian Roulette M One-shot Empty
PostSubject: Re: Russian Roulette M One-shot   Russian Roulette M One-shot I_icon_minitime

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